Many times we may wonder what is preventing our success or progression in a forward direction as we walk on in our individual path. The feeling comes as one of frustration, due to ongoing and diligent efforts, yet with little results. We may sometimes feel like we have no power to control what happens in our lives. It can seem as if we lack enough power to get going or stay moving. We may even be uncomfortable standing in and using the power we do have. I would like to share an experience that may help you on your own journey.
I attended a specialized intensive treatment at one of John Barnes’ flagship locations in Sedona, Az: TOR: Therapy on the Rocks, for a week of Myofascial Release Therapy. The sessions are close together 3 x a day for up to 5 to 15 days. It includes an evaluation, specialized hands on individual therapy, group unwinding, fascial freedom class, and a discharge assessment. During the week, fascial restrictions and holding patterns present in the body are revealed and treated. The Fascial System is dynamic and ever changing to accommodate the demands placed on the human being. These demands may include: external physical trauma, internal emotional holding patterns, inflammatory or infectious processes, and postural/structural imbalances. These demands can lead to pain and dysfunction coupled with prolonged periods of internal and unresolved stress. MFR aka: the John F. Barnes’ Myofascial Release Approach® can alleviate the physical restrictions and emotional holding patterns as well as the pain and dysfunction they cause, and return you to a pain free active lifestyle.
My initial goal in seeking out intensive treatment was for my postural fatigue, mid back pain, and occipital headaches. I found out that I had not only physical, but emotional holding patterns as well. This pattern was my very own self sabotaging message that was on automatic repeat in my head. It was carefully mirrored back to me in a session with one of the expert therapists, that I kept saying, “I don’t know” a lot.
Hmm. I once broke a very bad habit of saying “ya know?” in a question form when ever I said anything to anyone. I was looking for understanding while making sure I was being heard. It was something I picked up from one of my grandmothers who in particular, had a victim type personality. She would complain for hours and say “ya know?” needing constant validation. This was programmed into my internal self dialogue possibly through genetics and/or modeling. It bothered me when I would do it. It took quite a while in my life before I became aware of it. John Barnes has taught me, “Without awareness there is no choice.” Let me tell you how tricky our minds are. I merely replaced “ya know?” with “I don’t know” when in fact, I very much did know.
In using this statement I was dumbing myself down for fear of intimidating, then suffering rejection from others. If, I indeed was my authentic self and not this machine of people pleasing, validation seeking, insecure perfectionist… I was coming across as an intimidating bull in a china closet. Perfectionists…look so secure, but really are we? I was usually in a place of seeking out the approval and validation of others through what I call a:
perfectionist’s approval as a reward behavioral pattern that allows the bull to come out of the closet in the full light of day and tip toe gently through the tulips.
And I was an EXPERT at it!!! Always doing good, giving to others at the demise of my own self, performing above average with grades and skill in order to be found worthy of validation. It’s exhausting!! The power of the bull scared me. It intimidated me, because I knew of its fury and power, or at least I thought I did. I came to discover during the week of my intensive, what my definition of Power was. It was deeply cemented into my existence. I defined power by my limited exposure to it. In the security of the closet where I was hiding from those in power: I was confined, restricted, and I was always looking for that stamp of approval to come out, “ya know”?
Damn, I did it again….
But that time it was on PURPOSE, with awareness, and for comedic effect!
Bringing awareness to a habitual pattern whether it be emotional, behavioral, postural, or physical can free us from the traps that keep us bound. When we are burdened and bound, we are not free. We have a hard time enjoying life and moving forward. So let’s investigate these patterns.
How do you move, sit, and carry yourself?
What repetitive thoughts are on constant replay in your head?
Are you ok with ONLY self- approval?
What are you looking for really?
A WAY OUT
In the course of my week at TOR, I would learn a new definition for the word Power. My first investigation was: what power is NOT! True power is not force, control, or exploitive by nature! Power by definition, is the ability to DO something by right or authority.
Problem #1. Many of those I have witnessed or experienced in power, abused their ability to do something by exerting force or control in some way over others. My definition was limited by my experience. In my course of studies with John F. Barnes, he taught me a valuable lesson: “IT IS NOT OK TO FORCE” . In order to be free from the trap of the closet, and to stop trying to prove to myself and everyone else around me that I was ok and worthy just how I was (naturally strong and smart, with explosive energy), I needed a new definition. What I learned that week was:
Power is Awareness
Awareness gives me the power to choose. Free will is the opposite of dominance. My prior definition was marred just like my trust in authorities, and myself to be as I am. When I learned to listen to my own heart, and allow myself to be guided by the compass of my own feeling intelligence, I have learned that it will not lead me astray. Being able to step out of the closet filled with all that delicate china, and move about in my own power and unique gifts from God, without the fear of things crashing all around me, was indeed liberating. Knowing that I have the freedom to choose how I will respond verses reacting with a previously pre-recorded message, truly changed my perceptive awareness.
I have been freed with the ability to now choose how and when to DO something by my individual rights because of the authority I hold over my own life! This can be done with clarity and compassion for my self and others.
MFR helped me find my way in and then out! MFR taught me to truly stand in my own power! Posturing, demands, and annoucements are dropped, and true power is not having anything to prove. We just are who we are with authenticity and a clean feeling compass. While at TOR, I gained 3/8ths of an inch in postural height, found more energy and mobility to exercise while learning to redefine my personal boundaries with expansion from the center of my being! As I have walked on these past 3 months from that experience and treatment at TOR, I have found that this is not only good for me, but for others who are around me. As I stand in my power and expand out from my seat of authenticity in my center, my boundaries are clearly defined and overall encroachment is diminishing. It demonstrates to others what healthy boundaries look like in order to lead by example so that the dysfunctional patterns prevalent in today’s society are broken!
🙂 BONUS 🙂
At Results 360 MFR Therapy we have a holistic approach to health and wellness. We believe in the the importance of one to one therapy. I am a Physical Therapist who specializes in the John F. Barnes’ Myofascial Release Approach® which incorporates: Structural Myofascial Release, Rebounding, and Unwinding. Through this individualized and direct hands on approach, we work to discover and release the areas of restriction that can lead to: progressive pain patterns, increased stress & inflammation, physical and emotional holding patterns from trauma, motor dysfunction, poor posture, compromised athletic performance, and an overall decline in health and wellbeing.
To find an MFR Therapist trained in John F Barnes’ Approach go to: